I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize