Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
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He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
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when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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