I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think people are normalizing furries
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
