White coat. Heels.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
