xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize