And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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