Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
