I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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