I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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