I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I need a hoe opinion