I'm fucking your sister right now.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.