what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.