Non-Jews are for practice
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
