True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
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so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
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He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT