I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
