Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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