Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You're like the curious george of whores
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
