Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
