I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
