was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
this will be a night to untag.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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