And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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