woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
