Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
