For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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