So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
