After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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