Buhtt sex?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
