What did we do last night that was yellow?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
