We named our party play list daddy issues
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Your topless pictures make me question reality
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
