I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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