I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
