Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
