The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize