Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
