Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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