I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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