I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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