I bet he comes in French.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
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He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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