Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
