I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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