her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
