Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
