I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
