So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
