i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
