We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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