did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
