take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
