She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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