not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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