hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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