Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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