One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize