You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
