guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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