? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
