I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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