Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
