Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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