Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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