Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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